Ah, D*ck-face, you never let us down...

Chubs left D*ick-face about 4 years ago. He was a habitual liar, a drug dealer & user, had OCD & was insanely jealous. Not to mention, emotionally abusive & flat out psychotic.
If she wanted to make a phone call, he would have to be in the room listening in on the entire conversation, while also timing her so she didn’t go over the minutes he had given to her for that specific phone call.
The only phone in the house was the cell phone he kept in his pocket at all times & the only working vehicle was what he took to work, or wherever he was actually going every day & night.
Technically she had a car, but the battery would be removed while he was gone.

Ah yes, D*ick-face was one of a kind. He was a charmer and deceiver, but an all around VERY deceivingly good guy, which made beating the shit out of him my favorite memory of all time.

Now don’t let this confuse you. I would have LOVED to beat the brains out of this arrogant moron, but knew that Chubs would one day get her chance. She had never been in a fight in her life because I was her pit bull (in her words), so there was no reason for her to have to defend herself. I loved her & hated to see her go through this, but knew that one day the time would come for the smack down of a lifetime.

I had NEVER been so happy to hear these words……”I just beat the F*UCK OUT OF HIM, GET OVER HERE!!!!!” Again, Chubs is only 5 ft 4 inches tall and probably weighs 120 lb. soaking wet, but once the adrenaline gets going, there’s no stopping a f*ucked up, mentally abused, breaking point female (let this be a lesson to you ingrate, poor excuses of the abusive male race)

“I was cleaning out his closet because it wasn’t good enough...FOR HIM!” she said “& he just kept standing behind me b*itching about the clothes on the floor and how I wasn't moving fast enough, so I tried to stand up & he pushed me down by the back of my head”

“I don’t know what happened Momo. One second I was leaned over in the closet with my back to him & the next thing I knew, he was in the corner covering his face while I was bashing his cheek in with a pair of brass knuckles…..or a cabbage patch doll, I’m not sure”

‘OH MY GOD! SHOULD WE RELEASE THE DOVES?!’ I thought. ‘SHOULD I HEAD OVER THERE & START THROWING HIS S*HIT ON THE FRONT LAWN WHILE SINGING ‘HEY LADIES...IF YA MAN WANNA GET BUCK WILD'

I didn't know what to do! This was the happiest day of my life. I mean, other than O.J. recently going to jail for murdering his wife (allegedly)……I mean…kidnapping someone for stealing his watch…or something like that

As I walked into their house & noticed this poor bruised & battered man…LMAO! Holy S*hit, I can’t even type it without laughing……all I could think was ‘Where the f*uck are my DVD’s, ASSHOLE?!’

D*ick-face has since been placed into the psych ward of a hospital (as I stated in the first blog) but I just love saying it again :)

Ah, d*ick-face…..you never let us down……I just might make that the ending to every story